The Day Before

September 15, 2010

Wow, the last couple of weeks really have been a whirlwind, and suddenly I find myself with only one day between me and leaving for Ukraine not knowing quite how this happened. I have been to California, Indiana, and all over Texas visiting family and friends, and while at home I’ve been constantly running errands. It’s been nuts. I haven’t been able to fully grasp what’s been going on because I haven’t had long enough to get used to being home. So I’ve been running around in this strange state of almost disbelief, not really comprehending where I’m at or what I’m doing.

Hm, that sounds really strange, let me see if I can explain: It still hasn’t quite hit me yet that I’m here and will not be returning to Leeds. I haven’t had long enough to readjust because I have only been at home itself for a little over a week. So when I drive around or fly out somewhere else, I look around and find it hard to fully grasp what’s going on. It’s similar to how I felt when I went to Wales  – I couldn’t believe my incredible good fortune (going on a trip for free that cost £400), so the whole trip I just could not quite grasp that I was actually there, that it wasn’t some sort of a dream. I also felt this way the first couple of months in Leeds, just amazed and dazed by the fact I was living in England, it was too amazing, who does that? I would still have moments of realization throughout the year, walking along campus, seeing something particular to the country and realizing, ‘Oh wow, I’m in England.’

When that whole departure date thing happened during my application process, I briefly thought about pushing back my entry date to October. I discussed it with my seester, and I realized that even though leaving in September would be a crazy adventure, with only a couple of weeks at home, it would probably be better for me because I knew I would be in this state of whoa. I think it’s better for me to not have the time to readjust to being home and just jump quickly from Leeds to home to Ukraine. I’m hoping it cuts down on my emotional turmoil by living in a state of almost disbelief.

Anyways, today I need to finish up packing and running all of those errands I have (just over a week of time devoted to Peace Corps prep – not really enough time). I fly out tomorrow for Washington DC, have a day of meetings for Staging on Friday, and Saturday we’re off to Ukraine. I’ve been going through a wide range of emotions, but mostly excitement. Surprisingly, I’m not nervous at all. I know I’m going to absolutely rock this. I’m going in with no expectations but with the knowledge that I can 100% handle anything life throws at me. I have never felt so sure about anything in my life, I know I can do this, know that this is what I’m supposed to do. It’s an amazing feeling. Even if I haven’t learned any Ukrainian. 🙂

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